I got the following manly braai etiquette from the November 2009 issue of the Mens Health Braai Guide. 😉
Man the Braai
It’s about coals, cooking and cold beer. Here’s how to get fired up around the braai.
- Never touch another man’s tongs.
- He who wields the tongs is in charge if the braai. You don’t tell your mates how to drive, now do you?
- “Well done” is something you tell a mate when he scores a goal. It has no place on a plate.
- Paper plates are only cool when you’re camping.
- Music choice? That’s up to the man wit the tongs.
- Never bring a salad unless you’ve been asked to. (Or if it’s Grandma’s secret potato salad recipe.)
- Bring Toasties. And ice. (To be used separately)
- If you go inside to fetch a drink, bring back for everybody. You’re not alone in this, Captain Selfish.
- Start the fire before your guests arrive. Otherwise you’ll eat at 10pm.
- Paraffin is for Pussycats (slightly adjusted for profanity). Real men uses matches, newspaper and wood. (And firelighters when nobody’s looking.)
- If she wants to stand around the fire – and not inside making salad with with the other girls – then let her. But only if she contributes dirty jokes and sports talk.
- Never, ever leave a man to braai alone.
- Don’t bring a chicken kebab and then chow another man’s tjop.
- Leftovers stay on the premises. If you want takeaways, order a pizza.
- Braai so that you can taste the flavours, not the seasoning. That crust of salt does nothing but thicken your arteries.
- Always make more fire than you think you’ll need. You’ll need the coals later.
- The braai man gets first dibs on tasters.
So there you have it.