Man the Braai

I got the following manly braai etiquette from the November 2009 issue of the Mens Health Braai Guide. πŸ˜‰

Our Mauritius Braai

Man the Braai

It’s about coals, cooking and cold beer. Here’s how to get fired up around the braai.

  1. Never touch another man’s tongs.
  2. He who wields the tongs is in charge if the braai. You don’t tell your mates how to drive, now do you?
  3. “Well done” is something you tell a mate when he scores a goal. It has no place on a plate.
  4. Paper plates are only cool when you’re camping.
  5. Music choice? Β That’s up to the man wit the tongs.
  6. Never bring a salad unless you’ve been asked to. Β (Or if it’s Grandma’s secret potato salad recipe.)
  7. Bring Toasties. Β And ice. (To be used separately)
  8. If you go inside to fetch a drink, bring back for everybody. You’re not alone in this, Captain Selfish.
  9. Start the fire before your guests arrive. Β Otherwise you’ll eat at 10pm.
  10. Paraffin is for Pussycats (slightly adjusted for profanity). Β Real men uses matches, newspaper and wood. (And firelighters when nobody’s looking.)
  11. If she wants to stand around the fire – and not inside making salad with with the other girls – then let her. Β But only if she contributes dirty jokes and sports talk.
  12. Never, ever leave a man to braai alone.
  13. Don’t bring a chicken kebab and then chow another man’s tjop.
  14. Leftovers stay on the premises. Β If you want takeaways, order a pizza.
  15. Braai so that you can taste the flavours, not the seasoning. Β That crust of salt does nothing but thicken your arteries.
  16. Always make more fire than you think you’ll need. Β You’ll need the coals later.
  17. The braai man gets first dibs on tasters.
So there you have it.

36 thoughts on “Man the Braai

  1. I LOVE this! we are building two braai’s – a boys braai for fire and booze and jokes and a gas one for the two of us to use πŸ™‚

  2. This is classic!! I love: “Don’t bring a chicken kebab and then chow another man’s tjop” I always get annoyed with people that show up with lentil burgers and then want to ‘taste’ your ribeye!!

  3. I’ve never heard of braai before. Used for cooking out, so much like a grill? Love the photo. He looks quite pleased with himself! πŸ™‚

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